i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
