well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
