Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
