oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
