But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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