Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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