You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
