Where is the hickey?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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