I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
