gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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