new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
