She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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