kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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