I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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