You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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