i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize