One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
