Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Randomize
