Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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