Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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