what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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