So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i dont even know how to be here
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
