chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
