i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
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do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
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Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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