is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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