They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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