He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
