I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
