"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just had sex on a roof
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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