I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize