belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
