After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
