there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
