Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
