If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You took a bar mat shot.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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