I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
