I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
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Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
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I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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