420 ftw
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
