I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
