so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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