hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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