I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
