I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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