So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
