Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
