let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
