kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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