the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
