My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
