He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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