the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
