Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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