I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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