if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
