I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
3pm strippers are depressing
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
