Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
