it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
