I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
